His Will is the Will
For ten days my house was filled with the laughter and joy of a nine year girl. I picked up strewn socks, stuffed animals, pencils, toys, crumbs and candy wrappings from under her favorite seat. I helped her with her writing, took her to Church, swam with her for fitness and washed more than the average loads of clothing for one week. We laughed, we played, we struggled, we hoped. I must have tied her shoe over a hundred times.
After her father left for work, I would feel a warm body snuggle up beside me in the bed for love and warmth. This morning she is not here and I feel my loss. My atmosphere has changed again and I can’t believe how fast I fell in love.
Blended families are much more common these days than in the past, but having not been a part of one growing up in my own family, I’m afraid that it will never feel quite right. Personally, I have two sons from a previous marriage and because of my own poor choices, I have a relationship with only one of them. Every so often, I find myself mourning over its dysfunction, but God always seems to answer that His grace is sufficient for me. It is times like these that serve as a painful reminder of where I came from.
My attitude concerning this subject is a humble one. I pray to the God who can restore all and while I serve Him, He withholds one relationship and distances the others from me. While I can fault no one but myself for the decisions I made in life, my current condition still feels a sting from a forgiven past.
While on the heels of Thanksgiving, I’m urged to be grateful for the time spent with my step daughter instead of mourn my losses. The truth is that I have much more than I deserve and my life is not my own. I belong to my king and His will is the Will I choose for today. If I look at it from any other angle, my current circumstance could crush my spirit.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV)