No Perfect Answer
Our long awaited moment was finally here. My husband’s leave had officially begun and we were already making permanent memories with Brooke. Our laughter could be heard throughout the entire facility and it seemed nothing could affect our day.
Just as we were about to attempt a very serious race in an overly priced arcade, my husband’s phone rang. He walked away in order to escape the noise from the neon flashing screens around us. Excited and with my 9 year old stepdaughter’s patience quickly dwindling, I turned back to check his whereabouts. Within seconds, I spotted him and his pace towards us picked up; His gate more than doubled in width and his face expressed a clear panic.
“… was in a serious car accident.” He blurted out. “He’s not expected to make it. We have to get to the hospital. We have to go now.”
Shocked, I grabbed Brooke’s hand and forced her off the game that was about to bring her pleasure. Being so young, I could feel her resistance. I tried to explain exactly why we had to leave the fun behind, but I knew she would soon discover the full gravity of the situation on her own. I did not continue to repeat the horrible news that we just received in hopes that it wasn’t as serious as we were led to believe.
Though we made it to the hospital in a very short amount of time, your husband had already passed away. You had just received the news and besides a coworker, there was no other family there yet to help you bare your burden. Brooke sat in the hallway and me, at the feet of your grief. Your tears revealed your suffering and in no way could I find any words helpful in breaking through such pain. I just sat there on the cold hospital floor and prayed silently for your shattered world.
One by one, I watched as each new person received the life changing news. Just as I thought that I was able to force back my tears, someone’s knees would buckle under notification.
Processing the reactions of people weighed heavily on my heart. It is was hard for me to understand why God would remove a man that continued to faithfully sacrifice for so many other people.
I have no perfect answer for you as to why God would allow this specific tragedy to occur. But I do know, He is not without the power to comfort you in this great loss. I’m sure many people have expressed their condolences and I do hope their efforts help. Just remember that when times seem unbearable, the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. ~Psalm 34:18
“God whispers to us in our pleasure, speaks in our conscious, but shouts in our pain.”